Strange analogy...

I suppose I am not feeling particularly "poetic" this week. :)
But this did seem the appropriate blog for my bizarre point of view.

This week my doctor informed me that I have cancer. I'm sure some of my reactions are well within the normal scope, but my main reaction is just flat out weird and silly.

Hopefully you all remember the movie "Alien," otherwise it will just make no sense:

I feel like I have one of those itty bitty tiny aliens residing in my body, ready to just tear the hell out of things (in this case, my peace of mind and a bit of my health). Of course, I don't really think the cancer is going to run around getting huge and slaughtering those around me until Sigourney Weaver can show up and save the day, so it's really only half of an analogy I suppose. But I still feel invaded...

With that feeling comes nervousness, sudden calm, temper, a desire to say "WTF?! Cancer?!" a lot, and some really sick humor (no pun intended). Hey, it may not be funny, but if I don't laugh I think I could lose my mind.

So, anyway to turn "Alien" into a poem? Hmmmmm... I guess that will be next on the agenda.

Sleepless restless
questions roll
through a mind
that will not be still
and solutions
seem to be far off
and fail
chamomile and yoga
finding zen
and no solace
bludgeoning pillows
without relief
is it meaningful
is the bed just too big
am I finally
pushing over an edge
I thought I had reached long ago
silence
and sickness
and the fear that accompany
as I try to breathe
and ignore
those images
that dance across my eyelids
no rest, no rest
until I roam the house
cook up a storm
and wait for dawn